A Dog Named SEX

Usually anyone who has a dog calls him Rover or some such name. I called mine SEX. SEX is a very embarrassing name. One day I took SEX out for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came up to me and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 am in the morning… I said “I’m looking for SEX ” …..My case comes up next Thursday….One day I went to the town hall to get a license for SEX. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a license for SEX, he said he would like one too. When I said ” this is a dog!” , he didin’t care what she looked like. Then I said ” you don’t understand I had SEX when I was four years old! ” he replied. “You must have been a very strong boy.”

When I decided to get married, I told the minister I’d like to have SEX at the wedding, he told me to wait after the ceremony. I said ” but SEX is a big part of my life and my whole life revolves around SEX!.” He said he didn’t want to hear about my personal life and he would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having SEX there. The next day, we were married by a justice of peace. My family was barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog with us on our honeymoon. When I checked into the motel, in told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for SEX. Then the clerk said the everyroom in the hotel is for SEX. Then I said ” you don’t understand, SEX keeps me awake at night.” Then the clerk said ” Me too!!”

When my wife and I separated, we went to the court to fight for the custody of the dog, I said ” your honor I had sex before I was married.” And the judge said ” me too!!”

Well now I’ve been thrown in jail, divorced and had more damn trouble with that dog. Why just the other day, I went for my first session with my psychiatrist, she asked ‘ what seems to be the problem?” I replied, ” well, SEX has died and left my life. It’s like losing a bestfriend, it’s so lonely. The doctor looked at me and said ” Mister, you and me know that SEX isn’t a man’s bestfriend, so get yourself a DOG!!!”